More To Life Than
by XxYaoi-ADDICTxX
Summary: Kyoraku always loved Ukitake but he never built ther courage to finally satep up to him and tell him. But when he finally does, Ukitake informs him close friend that he has taken interest in the new lieutenant of his own Squad 13! Of course, Kyoraku dra
1. Chapter 1

**More To Life Than...**

Kyoraku always loved Ukitake but he never built ther courage to finally satep up to him and tell him. But when he finally does, Ukitake informs him close friend that he has taken interest in the new lieutenant of his own Squad 13! Of course, Kyoraku draws back from expressing his love to Ukitake. But how long can Kyoraku take before he gets tired of seeing the two around each other? R&R!

**Chapter 1:**

I was never really the type to have these feelings bottled up inside me. I was always known to be calm in situations. But this stituation os much different...the one thing I tremble about is when I think of him. I am very much in love with him. If only he knew.....Jushiro....

*~*~*~*

Shunsui just watched Jushiro as he happily fed the carps. He was afraid that if he said something out loud to Ukitake, the expression of leisure would fade away. But Shunsui sighs lowly and walks into the garden. Of course, Jushiro's focus on the carps were now gone. But the delighted look that was on his face only made Kyoraku smile was well. "Shunsui, it's nice to see you out here so early in the morning."

"It's a nice day to be out." Kyoraku answers back calmy. He watched Jushiro as he stood up from the pond. Kyoraku continued to watch his friend.

"What's the matter, Shunsui?"

"What do you mean? Does it look like something is bothering me?"

"Very much so. Am I incorrect?"

As much as Kyoraku wanted to tell Jushiro his feelings... Things that was on his mind...The truth.. Would Ukitake accept these feelings or return Kyoraku's desire of being together as lovers once and for all? The question that Kyoraku had always feared of hearing. He feared both the positive and the negative of that question. If Jushiro was to love kyoraku back, would they be seen as two wrongdoers or worse...Would they still remain as taichou? On the same token, if Jushiro was to deny the feelings of his everlasting friend, Kyoraku would never be the same. It would not only effect our lax Shunsui, the results will always leave Ukitake scathed. So what to so?

Shunisui finally smiles at his friend and shakes his head slowly.

"No, nothing's bothering me. Though, IO did come here to tell you something that has been on my mind for a very long time."

The standard smile that was kept upon Ukitake's face had slowly turned into the expression of curiosity.

"Oh, somehint _is_ bothering you?"

"Nevermind, Jushiro."

And just like that, Ukitake had dropped the topic and moved onto something else. "Then I guess you wouldn't mind hearing a bit of good news?"

"Good news?" Kyoraku repeated. Jushiro's smile grew wider.

_"Whatever he is about to tell me must be good news if he's smiling so widely."_ Kyoraku thought.

"It's about Lieutenant Niwa." Niwa Sakura is the current lieutenant of Squad 13. When Kyoraku discovered that this topic was all about this woman, he felt rather uneasy. In fact, he really didn't want to hear about it anymore. But it was useless to walk away now.

"What about her?" Shunsui finally responds.

Ukitake turns to take a seat at a neabry bench. Kyoraku follows suit.

"I trust you with my secret, Shunsui."

Again, Kyoraku was beginning to feel more uncomfortable. He really wanted to stop this conversation. But before he got a chance to protest, his close friend begins to speak.

"I am very much aware that Sakura is a newcomerhere but I have taken a slight interest in her. In fact, she has also been fond of me..."

And the part that Shunsui _hasn't_ been waiting for....

"I really like her. I shouldn't have these feelings towards her but I can't help myself."

"How do you think I feel when I see you everyday? Do you think I wantto keep my secrets to myself all this time? Don't you think after all of these years of us being close friends, I would develop some sort of feelings towards you? Jushiro Ukitake, I love you."

Or this was something that he wish he had the guts to say. But instead of pouring his soppy love all over his friend, he stands there with the must frauded smile that you can ever see. Even Ukitake took note that something was really bothering him.

"If there was something you wanted to talk to me about..."

"It's really nothing. I'm just a little tired." Shunsui answered. Ukitake looks at him for a moment andfinally gives up.

"When you're ready to talk, my firend, I'll be here to listen."

Ukitake walks off slowly, leaving Kyoraku alone in the garden. Shunsui groans lowly and plops himself on the ground.

"I need a drink."

~*~*~*~

A/N: So, how was it? I'm shocked that I thought of this new story so suddenly. That means I'll be updating everyday until I get on writer's block. That's bad. That's when I get lazy with the updates. Or did you not notice that pattern of laziness when reading my other fanfics? But whatever. I'll try my hardest to update all of my fanfics. Don't forget to leave me a comment or something! See ya later!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

"Kyoraku Taichou!" As usual, Nanao attempted to wake her sleeping captain. But today was a little different. She was standing there, calling his name for the past fifteen minutes. And for once, this was actually making her worry. But she need not to worry about him. He just wanted to lay there and run things through his mind. He just wanted to make sure that the things that Ukitake told him was really true.

_"So... Jushiro likes the new girl?"_ Shunsui thought to himself. There was no doubt that he was bothered by this whole situation but he didn't want this slight conflict offset his balance. Thus, he finally sits up and looks at his lieutenant. She looks back at him and she sighs.

"I know that I'm not the only one that notice that your sleeping habit has gotten worse."

"What's the problem with sleeping a bit more than usual?"

Nanao shakes her head. "Your drinking habits has gottne more heavier as well."

"Come on, my lovely Nanao. There is no need to get yourself all over something like that."

Finally, she drops the little quarrel. "Well, can you at least lower your desire to drink every minute?"

"Sure, sure, Nanao-chan." He says, slowly standing to his feet. Just when he thought that this _situation_ can get any more irritating. Niwa was not too far from the two. She was smiling as she casually walked towards the two. Kyoraku wanted to walk away but that wasn't going to look right. Instead, he had the urge to talk to her about something.

"Just the person that I was looking for." Shunsui says to Niwa, once she was close enough.

Sakura wasn't the the prettiest girl in the world, but she was mature than most of the girls in the Soul Society. You can even say that she is calm and colleted as Captain Unohana.

"You want to see me as well?" Niwa questions Kyoraku. It seems that she cmae over here to speak to him as well. He couldn't think of a reason as to why Sakura was over here. Is it about Ukitake?

"How about we talk somewhere more private?"

She attempts to wonder what Shunsui has to tell her. Eventually, she nods and the two heads off to the library.

~*~*~*~

"Can I ask you a question?" Sakura questioned as she pulled a book off of a nearby shelf.

"I'm listening."

"Jushiro told me how clse you two are. I was hoping that you can help me with something."

"Help you? With something?" With the attitude that Shunsui was carrying around against her, he didn't want to help her with a damn thing. Especially if it concerns Ukitake. But wouldn't it be wrong if he had said no? Would that make him lok suspicious?

"What is it exactly you need help with?" The tone in his voice had the tone of slight irritation. Instantly, Sakura backs away.

"Listen, if you don't want to help me, I don't mind. I'm not going to force you to help me--"

"I said, what is it exactly you need help with? I don't mind helping you, Niwa." She once again attempts to study his face.

"Ukitake and I are... Attracted to each other. I am sure that Jushiro has already informed you that."

"Yes, I'm aware. So what is it that you want? Are you taking him out somewhere?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. Tonight is our anniversary. I mean, we're celebrating our first month being together."

"Together? I thought that you two are just--"

"Well, it's a month that we started liking each other. I just don't know what to do for our anniversary. You know what he likes, don't you?"

"I guess you can say that."

"Then tell me what he likes. Tell mewhat should be nice for tonight."

Shunsui REALLY didn't want to help her, but...

"Uktake tands to give odd gifts and he likes ohagi. So you can either cook him something nice or you can just buy him a gift. It's that simple."

Sakura smiles.

"I know Jushiro isn't the type to gat all serious about gifts and things like that. But I still want to make him happy."Shunsui wanted to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

"Take my advice." He finally said, turning away.

"Wait."

Kyoraku turns his head and she shoots him a smile. "Thank you. At first, you gave me the impression that you didn't like me."

"Well, that's _exactly_ the impression I was giving you." Well, he didn't say it out loud but that's what he wanted to say, Instead, he said, "No. If you felt that way, then I'm sorry."

*~*~*~*

At this moment, Shunsui had to see Ukitake. He was already mad that he actually helped Sakura. Just thinking about it, made him want to tell Jushiro everything. Everything.

The lightest tap on his shoulder caused Kyoraku to snap back into reality. It was a hell butterfly that caught his attention.

His tiresome expression had changed quickly. _Something about the worl dof the living?_

~*~*~*~

Maybe this was destiny. Could be fate. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. It doesn't really matter. All that matters is that Kyoraku and Ukitake were ordered to go to the world of the living. It was something sudden but Kyoraku didn't mind. After all, it's only a slight problem with the Menos. Menos rarely appeard in the world of the living but lately they're appearing more than they should be. But on the other hand, Ukitake didn't look so happy about it.

"I'm sure your little girlfriend will understand."

Ukitake didn't smile. "I am in no condition to go the world of the living, Shunsui. Everyone knows that."

"True. But look at this on the bright side. They don't see you as some sick dog. Besides, I'm hereto protect you."

Jushiro smiles. "You're right. I feel fine. Let's hope I'm able to survive this mission."

"That's the least of our problems." Shunsui mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say?"

"Oh nothing. I'll wait at the gate while you say goodbye to Sakura." Ukitake smiles once more before leaving. Shunsui kept his smile until his friend had left completely. He might have hated the fact that Ukitake had an interest in Sakura, but he didn't want Jushiro to know that he didn't approve of this. But he was happy as long as Jushiro was happy. And on top of everything that has happened, Shunsui has never seen his beloved friend this happy before.

_Why can't he be that happy with me?_ He thought to himself. He already knew that answers to that question. Firstly, they were both men. Secondly, there was no chance that Jushiro had these feelings as well. If he did, wouldn't he have some sort of different behavior around Shunsui? And thirdly, no matter how you twist it or turn it, it was too impossible that those two would ever be together. Who could possibly accept them?

"Maybe I should just give up?"

"Give up on what?"

Shunsui smiles, turns and see lis lieutenant. "Nanao-chan..."

Her calm eyes suddenly widened when her captain gave her a painful smile. "Captain Kyoraku. Are you all right?"

"I'm quite all right, Nanao-chan--"

"That's enough Captain!" Nanao yells. Shunsui's eyes widened in surprise.

"Dont treat me like I cannot point out your feelings. Something is bothering you and you need to tell me. NOW!"

Could she be trusted with this?

He walks over to her and grabs a hold of her hand. "I don't want to burden you with my problems, Nanao--"

"I don't want to pry on you personal issues, Captain but... you are important. Am I _not_ supposed to be concered with your issues? Just tell me what is bothering you...... please."

She might not have shown it, but Nanao really does care about Kyoraku. So, What's wrong with telling her these kinds of things? Finally, Shunsui sighs in defeat. "All right. I'll tell you. But, Nanao, you have to promise me that whatever I am about to tell you, you musn't tell anyone about it or feel uncomfortable about it. Understood?"

"Understood!" She answers quickly. She had no idea what he was about to tell her but she didn't care. Either way, Kyoraku was still her captain.

"Alright. I'm going to tell you."

Nanao stood there slightly tense. IN a way, she was afraid that he would give her bad news. "It's about--"

"Captain Ukitake!" Nanao suddenly said. SHunsui looks up and sees his friend in the distnace. Great, so now there asn't any time to tell Nanao everything. She puts her focus back on her captain.

"I guess that you will have to inform me on your conflict after your mission. Is that all right with you?"

He looks down to his lieutenant and smiles. "Just promise me that my problems will not disurb you from your daily work."

"Promise."

"Okay, then. Are we all set?" Ukitake said, finally walking towards the two.

"Let's make this quick." Kyoraku answered him back.

Nanao just watched the two as they walked calmly to the gate.

~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Oh, that chapter was too short. Well, that's what I think. I used to write so much more! But don't worry! There is much more to this story! Don't forget to leave me a review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

"How long does old man Yamamoto want us down here?" Shunsui asked, as he looks into the tall mirror.

"As long as takes for us to get this task done." Ukitake replies, stepping into the room.

"At least the place is nice." Shunsui comments. His eyes pulled away from the reflection of his gigai and he looks over at Jushiro.

This was the best time to tell his close friend everything. Shunsui really wanted to. But he's so afraid of ruining things for the both of them. So, is it best for him to keep all of this to himself?

"Shunsui."

"What is it?"

"What is it that you would like to talk about? I remember you telling me that there was something on your mind for a while now."

"Oh, really? When did I ever say that?"

"I have never seen you so irritated like this before, my friend."

Was it realliy that obvious? Could people really tell that he was bothered? Did he lok that disturbed? And mostly... Was it time for Jushiro to find out the truth?

"Do you really want to know?"

Jushiro tensed a bit, But he wasn't afraid. But should he feel tense? He has never seen this side of Kyoraku. Should he be concerned?

"That's what friend are for."

Friends? Friendship mean a thing after Kyoraku tells him these feelings of his. But friendship lasts forever. Love is not gaurenteed to last as long.

And once again... What to do?

".......To be honest.... I'm not really ready to tell you just yet."

"Wow. This must be pretty serious. But don't wait too long to tell me, Shunsui. I don't want you to suffer all by yourself."

Kyoraku's eyes windened in surprise. Jushiro just smiled at him before leaving the room.

_"He.... Doesn't want me to sufferby myself...."_ Kyoraku thought to himself. That was one thing that you can point out about Ukitake. He wasn't arrogent and he was very caring. He cared for others as much as he cares for his family. There wasn't one thing wrong with Jushiro. Who _wouldn't_ love him?

_"Which is why I love him....."_

~*~*~*~*~

"Valentine's Day?"

"Yes, Valentine's Day. It's a day to show your love to another." The girl explained, as Shunsui stared at the variety of sweets that stood nefore him. He picked one up and read the package.

"Cho_co__**late**_??"

"You don't know what chocolate is ? Try it, it's good!"

Curious to know what chocolate tastes like, he takes a sample and easts it. HIs face lit up with delight and he buys a few. He looks up at the cashier.

"Are you supposed to buy this for someone?" He asked her. She smiles and nods slowly.

"Of course! But the girls are supposed to buy it for the boys."

"I see."

Although the woman told him that girls buy it for the boys, he bought some anyway. On top of that, he picks another treat that is called _cake_.

As he arrived back to the house, Ukitake gaped at the amount of junk Kyoraku hadcame back with.

"Wh-What's all of this?" He asked in disbelief.

"It's chocolate. And cake. Try it, it's good."

"How do you know? Did you try it or did someone tell you that t was good?"

Shunsui doesn't answer him but he picks up a piece of chocolate and sticks it in Jushiro's mouth.

"Mmph!" Ukitake complained. There wasn't much he could really say or do. So, of course, he sat there and ate the chocolate. After taking it down, he sat there in delight. By the expression on his face, he must have liked it.

"I told you it was good." Shunsui finally said.

And just like that, Kyoraku changes the subject. "Sakura better be good to you."

"Where did that come from?"

"I'm just trying to protect you, Jushiro. I am your friend, after all."

Jushiro sighs lowly and looks up at Shunsui. "Women was never really a problem for me."

"Women will always be a problem, Jushiro."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

Kyoraku had to smile at that. "That's beside the point. I'm just looking after my friend."

"I greatly appreciate your concern about me but I'll be just fine. Besides, we get along really well."

Getting along was something that you would expect from a friend. If they were lovers, wouldn't there be something more to the relationship than getting along? Getting along was great but any sort of relationship provides two getting along.

"I love you..."

Jushiro sat there, expressionless. Not one mark of uncomfortness or happiness had appeard on his face. Was he shocked? Disappointed? Happy? Overwhelemed? What was going on in the mind of Jushiro Ukitake? On the other hand, did Kyoraku even relize what he just said? Did he really say _I Love You_ to Ukitake? Finally, Jushiro turns his eyes to his beloved friend.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so forward. Let's just act like none of this happened--"

"What doyou mean? When you say that you love me?"

Shunsui blinks a few times. Maybe Jushiro didn't really understand what Kyoraku really meant. "I guess you can say that I love you too. You're like a brother to me."

Shunsui sat there, a little confused. No, this is not what he wanted. He didn't mean love as in FAMILY LOVE! **Jushiro's got it all wrong!!** Or maybe that's what Ukitake _should_ believe.

_"You can't say that I didn't try..."_ Kyoraku thought to himself. He turns to the cake. Just looking at it, encouraged him to think beyond the thoughts of Ukitake.

"The cake looks nice." Shunsui comment, to break to quick anfd odd silence.

"For a moment there, Shunsui..... I thought you meant I Love You in another way..."

"Oh, really? Hypothetically speaking... Let's just say I did mean it in another way. If I did 'love' you that way, how would you feel?"

Now it was Jushiro's turns to be awkwardly silent. Just give him some time to think, Shunsui...

"Hypothetically, you say? If you did love me that way, would it be wrong for me to return those feeligns? Would it be wrong if I rejected them? But if you're 'hypotheically' speaking, there is a chance I just might take you up on those feelings of yours."

That was all Shunsui needed to hear. Just the right amount of evidence that he neede. Was there some slight possiblity that there was a JushiroXShunsui "_thing"_??

On top of everything else, could this conversation get any more weirder?

Finally, Jushiro clears his throat. "But....."

_*Beep, beep beep, beep*_

The odd silence had finally vanished once Ukitake's pager goes off. He flips it open. Eventually, he looks up at his firned. "It's a Hollow, It's nothing you need to worry about. I'll take care of it."

Shunsui stood to his feet before Jushiro did. "If it's a Hollow, then _I'll_ take care if it."

Within the blink of and eye, Shunsui was out of his gigai and he was gone before Jushiro could say another word.

Kyoraku just wanted to be alonefor a while. He just needed some time to think. There were so many questions that occured to him. Some questions that he was glad to ask himself. The numbe one question that bothered him how was:

"Does Jushiro really love me too??"

~*~*~*~*~

[Shunsui's POV]

Just a simple and measly Hollow. For that past days, I found many things seemed to irritate me. I wasn't myself. Worse, it didn't take much for other to read me. And once again, that wasn't a characteristic that I didn't carry.

wans't myself and I wasn't comfortable with that one bit. I truly do love JUshiro. I really do. But if I was going to cause trouble for the both of us, maybe I should just give up. Hand him over to the hands of Sakura Nia. I closed my eyes at the thought. My thoughts had even begin to disturb me. But if I closed my thoughts about Jushiro and just sit back to see him do his thing..... Would I be as happy as he would be?

What the hell am I htinking? As great as that sounds, I don't think my feelings for him would diminish so easily. This constant debate with myself is only driving me crazy. I can't take this anymore. Why is this so hard to do? Would it be wrong if I just told him how I felt? I just want him to know. Even if he does reject me, at least there would be some sort of time that he would think this all over. Maybe Nanao was right. I need someone to talk to. The only person I can really speak to would be Jushiro himself.

Nanao-chan isn't here to listen either.

"Um.... Mister?"

Someone had called out to me. It obviosuly couldn't be an average person calling out for me. I'm not in my gigai just yet. I turned aroudn to see what or who was calling me. When I turned around, a girl stood before me. She didn't look any older than 18, She was young but she was just a wandering soul.

"Whats' the matter? Are you lost?"

She looks at like I had said something wrong. She smiles at me and walks towards me. "I was about to ask you the same thing, sir."

Sad, that even a wandering girl like her had pointed out something such as that. I had no choice but to smile at her response. "I'm just a little bothered. But that is something that only concerns and me only."

"Love is written all over your face."

I knew that there was something really wrong with me if ANYONE can tell that I'm under the weather. ON top of everything else, she was just a little girl. What did she know about love?

"Even if you were correct, how could you really tell?"

"Who CAN'T tell? Only an idiot woulnd't be able to point out your feelings."

Then Jushiro must be slightly foolish. Or mayeb he is aware of my odd behavior but he's patiently waiting fo rme to actually come up to him when I'm ready. After all, he _did_ say that before.

"You know... You should tell people how you fell. You're old enough to know that, Mister."

Who does this little girl think she is? She might be yound but she was clearly correct. I wasn't going to admit it though. She continues to look at me with curiosu eyes, waiting for me to come up with a response.

"How much does a little girl like you know?"

She giggles and stands before me. "I'll make you a deal, sir."

Making a deal with a little girl.

"Sorry, but I'm not into msking deal with children--"

"But you're supposed to help me. I need to see someone... I know I'm dead and everything but I need to see him again."

Oh? She no longer that the happy grin. I was replaced with the look of sadness and fear. I felt the urge to help her. But after all, this _is_ my job to help her.

"See who? A family member of yours?"

She looks up at me and shakes her haed." No. I already know where my family memebers are. I'm looking for the boy I lvoe...."

"The boy you love? Who an where is this boy?"

"His name is Shinobu. I don't know where is Shinou's home, but I know that he goes to school nearby."

How could her mood change so quickly? She must really like this boy. And out of all of the people in the world, she asks the man that is having relationship issues to find her lover. Am I suited for what she asks of me?

"Do you want to see Shinobu before you go?"

"Yes! I have to! Because when I go....... I'll never be able to see him again."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Does he love you?" Her response was nothing but silence. I was taking her response as a no. She seemed so hurt; I was in no position to feel bad for her because we were both in the same position.

I rest my hands on both of hershoulders and smiled at her. She needed support as much as I do. "So, where can we find Shinobu,...... Girl?"

Tomorrow's school. We can see him then..... And my name's Sakura."

Sakura. The irony. After all, I decided to help her out. I didn't want her to leave this place without telling him goodbye. I can't imagine what life would be without Jushiro.

"Alright then, Sakura. It's a date."

Her bright smile reappeared and I actually felt quiet good.

[Shunsui's POV ends]

~*~*~*~*~

Jushiro couldn't help but to notice how pleased Shunsui had looked that evening. "Did something good happen today, Shunsui?"

Kyraku pulled his attention from the night sky to his friend. "Hm?"

"You don't look as tense."

A smiles slowly appears on his face. "I met a little girl today..... She was very nice and pretty. Her name is Sakura. I don't know much of her but I have to help her."

"Help her with what?"

"She said that she wants to say goodbye before she leaves this place....."

Shunsui can see that by the look on Ukitake's face, he still didn't fully understand.

"She's in love with the boy named Shinobu. Unfortunately, he doesn't love her back. Even thought she was fully aware of that, she still loves him. She still wants to say goodbye to him."

"You're going to help her." Jushiro understands now.

"She's in the same stupid situation I'm in." Kyoraku add lowly.

"Did you say something?"

"I said....I need to help her. It's my duty."

Jushiro sat there quietly as he watched Shunsui's attention go back to the night sky. Eventually, he went over to his friend and held him from behind. Kyoraku's eyes slightly widened in shock. He was not only surprised that Jushiro was hugging him from behind, Jushiro was comfortable doing so.

"It's nice that you're your old self again."

Not exactly. I still didn't get a chance to tell someone how much I love them."

"Really? Who is it? Someone from Soul Society?"

"Mm-Hm." Kyoraku answers back, his hands slowly running up to Jushiro's arms.

"I bet you're curious to know who it is, Jushiro."

"...... Who is this lucky someone?"

"Maybe this was the best opportunity to tell Jushiro everything. Everything was in the right setting the night couldn't get any more prettier than this.

"................It's you. Jushiro......."

Ukitake looks at his friend indisbelief. He was shocked but he didn't necessarily reject Shunsui. Eventually, Jushiro removes his arms away from his beloved friend.

"I-It was _me_? All along?" He repeated, his face coloring ever slightly.

"Yeah. I was afraid you would reject me. Or telling you would ruin our friendship."

Jushiro was speechless. Unable to respond, he stand to his feet, eventually leaving Kyoraku behind.

_"Well, I guess that's it......"_

*******

The next day, Sakura had completely expected Shunsui to arrive with the look of hope and happiness. Instead, she didn't feel too excited to see him so..._glum_.

"Something terrible happened to you." She declared, look at the pouting captain.

"I had a rough night."

"Then you should have stayed home."

"No. Staying behind and seeing his face is only going to hurt me more." He said, his eyes looking exhausted.

"Are you sure you still want to help me? I mean, we can always do this another time--"

"Don't worry about me, Sakura. Your desire to see this boy one last time, is a promise I must not break. It's far too important to you."

She smiles. "Alright, then. I don't want to hold you up, sir."

Kyoraku sighs lowly, his concern back to the little girl. "So, this is your school?"

"It used to be. But yes, Shinobu goes here."

"What are your intentions, Sakura?"

"My intentions? Well, I can't do much if he doesn't see me.... and all I want to do is give him this letter that I wrote to him before I died...."

"How about.... We wait till school is over and I give him this letter of yours. Is that allright?"

Her eyes widened with excitement. "Yes! You would do that for me?"

"That's my job."

A/N: As much as I would LOVE to jump to the **good** parts, I have to let the story play out. But look on the bright side, there's probably a lemon in the next two chapters. (MAYBE!) And oh, by the way, I tend to add small parts when Kyoraku shows his POV of things. If it gets to confusing for you guys, I'll try and avoid doing that. Anyway, don't forget to leave me a comment! _Sayonara!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

[Shunsui's POV]

I'm not happy that Jushiro hasn't said a word to me since I told him that I loved him, but I cannot afford Sakura to leave this world without telling her feelings. Hopefully, he would at least return _some_ sort of feelings back to her. I was worried that he would admit that he never loved or had taken an interest in hr. She'll be so crushed......

I was givin the permission to read Sakura's not. Yes, she loved this boy so much. His answer could scar her forever.

"MIster..... There's students coming out of the school. I think I see Shinobu!"

I can hear the thril in her voice. She was excited. But I can tell that she was scared out of her mind-- just waiting for his response.

But I understand.

Although I was standing by the gate of the school, I felt Sakura hold a grip on my arm. Tightly. "It's all right. I need for you to relax. Calm down."

"Alright... I'll try."

I looked around, searching for this boy.

"He's the one with the messenegr bag.. The one with the short and choppy dark hair."

He was no doubt an attractive young man. I see why is so into him. As he got closer, Sakura hid behind me.

"Excuse me. Is your name Shinobu?"

The boy looks at me in confusion. He continues to walk off. No surprise that he would ignore me.

"I know this seems odd but I need to speak to you about Sakura."

He paused, eventually turning to me. "How do you know Sakura?"

He loked worried. Concerned.

"I'm sure that you're aware that she is no longer amongst the living--"

"I know that......"

I looked at the letter in my hands, unraveling the crumpled note and handing it to him.

"What's this?" He asked me, scanning through the note quickly.

"It's a note that Sakura happened to write before she died."

Shinobu scanned the note repeatedly beofre staring me down. He sighs sharply, slowly balling the note in his fist. "Sakura _will_ be missed. I do miss her but..... I didn't love her."

I knew by now, that once Sakura had heard the news, that her eyes would be filling with painful tears. This is what I was afraid of. And it's not like we can change his feelings for her.

"She might not be alive....... But believe me, Shinobu. She truly did love you. And a person like her derserves to be happy, living or dead. I mihgt not have known her for long enough but I'm so proud of her. And I love her for being such a brave young woman."

I meant every word. I _did_ love her. And now because of her strenght to finally face this boy and have the truth revealed before her, I learned something. After speaking with Shinobu, Sakura agreed that I perform a Konsoul (Is that what it's called? [I forgot]) as soon as possible. She didn't seem to happy.

"Thank you very much. I wouldn't know what I would do without you. And.... you said you love me so, again, thank you.

I smiled, kneeling down slightly to pat her on the head. "You are very special to me. I'm so proud of you, Sakura."

She smiled. "Thank you very much. I'm proud of you too!"

That day after placing Sakura to _sleep_, I fought off a Menos. I was in no need to cal for Jushiro's help. It's best for him to stay behind anyway, Especially during his condition.

But I _have_ learned one of the most important parts of life today. If you make a mistake in life, you either run from it or learn from it.

I love Jushiro. And if I really wanted to go after him, I'll do just that.

And that's what I'll do. I just want him to know how much I _really_ love him. These are my intentions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

First thing's first. Watch him in his sleep. He looked so fragile, I was sort of afraid that he would break and shatter if I did so.

But the expression that was left on his face wasn't the look of a happy individual. I guess he wasn't too happy with my feelings. If that's the case, then so be it. I'll never stop loving him.

Just when I decided to touch the strands of hair that lingered his face, he stirs from his slumber.

His bright eyes managed to find my eyes in the dark. But even though he saw me by his bed, he just layed there. At least he didn't get up from the bed to avoid me.

he clears his throat. "You're hurt."

I stiffened a bit. "I'm fine."

He sits up, pulling the side of my shirt up, revealing the cut on my side. He loks up at me in worry. "No, you're not."

I pulled his hand away. "I said I'm fine, Jushiro. don't know why you're so concerned."

He was about to answer me but he closes his mouth and layed back down. Did I just make him angry? I'm the one that should be mad.

"Do you want to talk? Shunsui?"

His back was turned away form me as he asks me that question.

"I don't think I can. After what I told you--"

"How do you think I feel about you?"

He turned to face me once again, his face not too far from mines. My heart paced. What exactly does he mean?

"What are you saying?"

He doesn't answer me. But his eyes were telling me something. I might not catch on so quickly but I am desperate to find out what's goign through his mind right now.

[Shunsui's POV ends]

"How long have we known each other, Shunsui?"

"Long enough--"

"Correct. Which is why...... you should know me like that back of your hand."

"What are you trying to tell me, Jushiro? You already know my feelings. It's time for me to know yours--"

At that moment, both of their pagers go off. They both sigh sharply, Kyoraku pulling his pager out first.

He looks up at his beloved friend and sighs once more before rising from the floor.

"It's a Menos. Stay here, I'll take care of it."

"No. I'm coming with you. You took care of the last one on your own."

Shunsui looked at Ukitake, eventually stepping out the door along side his friend.

"It's close by. The reiatsu is high on this one." Ukitake assumed.

They droppped down to a roof of a building, seeing the shadow-like Menos walk the streets.

"Just tell me one thing, Jushiro.,..." Kyoraku says suddenly, his eyes focused on the creature before them, "Do you have some sort of love for me? Any sort?"

"Shunsui, not at this moment, please--" Ukitake requested, jumping away once the Menos was close enough to attack.

Shunsui followed suit and jumped right beside him. "I'm not trying to be hasty but..... once this mission is over, Sakura is all yours. And I'll never be able to hear your feelings. Just---"

The Menos drewcloser preparing to attack.

Ukitake jumped away once again, but Kyoraku takes a chance of an attack and summons _Katen Kyokotsu_.

But his first blow had no effect on it. The Menos shook it off and shoots a blast at Ukitake.

Of course, Jushiro dodges it and attacks it as well. Without hesitation, Kyoraku jumps in for another, but deathly, blow.

In unison, the two attacks the enemy with one strike. Thus, their task was done. For now. Ukitake pants, resting his zanpaku-to back on his side.

"I'm sorry, Shunsui....."Ukitake says in a short breath, "I don't know how to respond to your feelings..... Maybe because I'm afraid if my own thoughts and feeligns towards you...... I wish you hadn't exploited you feelings to me at a time like this....... I even told you that I was with Sakura and....."

Kyoraku looked at his friend before sighing loudly.

"Alright. Let's make a deal. Because clearly, our feelings aren't too similar. Let's be friends instead."

[Shunsui's POV]

I knew I should have kept my mouth closed. Jushiro looked confused. I didn't mean for him to freak out on this matter. He wants to live a regular happy life. And I should support that. I do love him but ther are times when you have to let go of the person you love. It's for the best.

Jushiro looked at me with worried eyes. I smiled. "When we get back, let's go back to hen we saw each others as brother, Jushiro."

I didn't want it to be friends forever. I wanted him all to myself. I didn't want him to go back and go into Sakura's arms. But he looks at me for a moment and a small smile finally appears.

"That sounds good."

"Captain...... Are you all right?" I don't know how long Nanao-chan was going to stand by the door. I was in the bathing fairly too long but I didn't feel like speaking to anyone at the moment. All I want to do right now is stay in here and wish that I had never had these feelings for my closest friend. And for the past few days, I found myself watching Sakura follow Jushiro around. It bothered me but I kept watching.

"You told me not to let your concerns get in my way with a daily work but...... you walking around the place like this is only making things worse. I'm worried, Captain Kyoraku."

After a few minutes of debating with myself, I got out of the bath and finally stepped out.

Once I opened the door, Nanao was standing there with her arms folded. It looked like she was crying but she stood there anyway, waiting for answers.

"Why were you crying?"

"I wasn't CRYING. I was waiting for you to talk to me--"

"I'm in love with my closest friend. I love Jushiro Ukitake, Nanao-chan."

I didn't want to beat around the bush. She desreved to know these things. And she was so conerned that she thought something was really wrong with me.

But as I looked back up her face, the look of relief was marked on he rface.

"I should hav eseen this coming. I knew that it had to be about Captain Ukitake. You have been watching him a lot lately."

I smiled tiredly. "Could you really tell?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. And I'm sure that Niwa is rather close to him." She explained, turning to sake.

"Yes. But I'm trying my hardest to harnest my feelings away from him--"

"Why?"

Why, she asks? Does Nanao-chan realize what I just said? I just admitted that I am completely infactuated and in love with a male captain, that slao happens to be the most important thing to me ever since I knew myself..... And that sound fine to her?

"It's just too complicated."

"Have you ever stop to think how Captain Ukitake felt about these feeligns ouf yours?"

Now that she mentioned it. he never gave me a real response to when I told him that I loved him.

He might not have said yes, but........" NO. But when I told him that I did love him, he loked at me and walked away without saying anything to me. Right then and there, I had this feelings that nothing was going to work out."

"But you can't just give up. This isn't like you. If you want something done, go do it. I wish the old you was back. Whatever happened to my Captain Kyoraku?"

She was so right, it made every though and action I have done for the past few weeks, were all the WRONG moves. All of this stress is only pulling myself away from..... the old me.

How could I do this to myself? If Jushiro can walk aroudn the Seireitei without any look of disturbance, I can do it too.

So, I decided to be my regular, old self once again.

[Shunsui's POV ends]

*****

A/N: Well, once again, I felt I dragged this chapter out. I thought it was boring. Maybe because I'm so exicted to post up the next chapter. If I'm excited about it, then you should be curious to know what the next chapter may have in store for you!


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